What Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock and Roll” would sound like if it were written by a grad student

bobseger

by Ryan Meehan

I’m going to go ahead and do something a little different today.  Lately I have been hearing a lot about writing exercises where people will try and sharpen their chops by taking on projects that they are not usually used to writing about.  So I took two things that in my mind could not possibly be any further away from each other and attempted to combine them into one piece.  Instantaneously I thought of Bob Seger and grad school students.  For the record, I have no hard feelings towards these two things.  If I got the opportunity to interview Bob Seger tomorrow, I would do it in a heartbeat.  But his music is hardly what I would call high-society stuff, and it’s the exact opposite of what a grad school student would listen to.  I’m not bagging on grad school students, I could never get my Masters in anything because I simply just don’t have that kind of patience.  I respect those who are going through or have gone through that process, but I still think that the way some of those individuals talk is completely ridiculous.  I take a lot of shit on this website for my writing style, but keep in mind I’m always trying to write as if I’m having a conversation with somebody.  Grad school students tend to use a lot of unnecessary wording because they think it makes them sound smarter than everybody else.  Anyway, this was just something I came up with that you may or may not like.  It was my attempt at combining two things that were just as far away from each other on the spectrum as chewing gum and nuclear physics.  Given that premise, this is what I think Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock and Roll” would sound like if it were written by a grad student.

Simply remove those aged vinyl music playing discs from the bookcase
 
I remain stationary while I stimulate my eardums with the audio that emanates from their likeness, in the company of no one 
 
The popular music of the meantime does not seem to possess the same feeling as the aforementioned classics
 
I enjoy said classically dated era music that’s popular with the young people of today…

 

Do not attempt to bring me to a 1970’s style dance club full of drag queens and recreational substance users
 
You will not so much as begin to create the illusion that I will appear to be on the planar structure on which others are gyrating
 
Within one-sixth of the hour I will exist as tardy with relation to device on a swivel from which I had entered the establishment 
 
I enjoy said classically dated era music that’s popular with the young people of today…

 
 
I continue to enjoy said classically dated era music that’s popular with the young people of today

Said particular genre of auditory stimulation simply reassures the comfort of my spiritual existence

I recollect moments from a set of twenty-four hour periods that exist in the past…

When in the companionship of dated era music that’s popular with the young people of today… 

 

I absolutely refuse to go to an institution where musicians are playing music which is primarily Latin in nature 

I would much rather prefer to hear some music along the lines of Robert Johnson, J.J. Cale, or James Brown

It would appear that there is one sole method which would require my presence at that location 

I enjoy said classically dated era music that’s popular with the young people of today… 

 

Suggest that I bear a resemblance to an object of historical interest, or recite any other observation that will support your point of sentiment

Orate that I am out-moded or state that I am over the age of an insult commonly associated with forty calendar years

The tunes that dominate today’s modern pop charts do not possess the same embodiment as does the music that I consider to be up to my entertainment standards

I enjoy said classically dated era music that’s popular with the young people of today… 

 

I continue to enjoy said classically dated era music that’s popular with the young people of today

Said particular genre of auditory stimulation simply reassures the comfort of my spiritual existence

I recollect moments from a set of twenty-four hour periods that exist in the past…

When in the companionship of said classically dated era music that’s popular with the young people of today…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s