NFL Week Five Preview


by Eight Thirty Seven


Until Sunday Night I was convinced I had seen it all on social media. We’ve witnessed countless breakdowns and just about every emotion imaginable from all sorts of athletes, celebrities, and entertainers that I thought I had seen it all. Well, I was wrong. While checking out the end of the Sunday Night Football game between the Cowboys and Saints, I checked into my usual half-asleep torment of the Twitterverse, only to see that right away I had been outdone by the operator of the league’s social networking and posted the above gem. As a writer, of course this pisses me off because I didn’t know “Drink, mash keypad” were the only directions that the social media operator from the country’s most popular sport needed to follow to keep that gig. To further complicate matters, they didn’t even take the tweet down – it’s still up. On the field, there are going to be some great games this week. Others not so much, but either way let’s break it down and take a look at what we think will happen in week five of the NFL season.


Bye Weeks:  Miami Dolphins, Minnesota Vikings, New York Jets, Carolina Panthers


837’s brief comments on all of the bye week teams


The Dolphins just fired their coach and their 2015 situation is pretty much irreparable, the Vikings are decent and probably better than we think but it doesn’t matter, the Jets are still overrated and the Carolina Panthers might be 4-0 but trust me they are full of shit. More news on this as it develops.


Dubsism:  I referred to last week as the “Week of the Landmine.”  The bankroll stepped on one of those landmines, but survived…kind of like that Afghani kid who gets a foot blown off, but doesn’t stop picking up shell casings. Yeah, so what if that joke isn’t “politically correct?” Write your fucking Congressman. We’re here to talk gambling, and if I can win enough, I can help buy the kid a new foot. Feel better now, asshole?

That’s why I need to have a better week this week.  After all the landmine carnage, survival meant clearing a net profit of 20 bucks, bringing the bankroll for the season to $3,136.50. Feet aren’t cheap, and the fine folks in Vegas aren’t really helping with this week’s lines.

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