The FOH Super Bowl XLIX Preview Extravagantacular

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by Ryan Meehan

After a season of some fantastic NFL football – as well as a lot of real stinkers – Super Bowl XLIX is finally here.  For the second straight year, both one seeds in their respective conference will be appearing in the big game.  It should be one of the best Super Bowl in recent years, and after saying that about last year’s shitstorm it had better be.  The football Gods kind of owe us a good one here, as we had high expectations for last year’s game and it ended up being terrible.  We’ve still never had a Super Bowl go into overtime, and that’s something that every fan wants to see before they end up like Morgan Freeman’s character at the end of The Bucket List.  (Spoiler alert)  This one’s for all of the marbles, a saying that would be a decent analogy if anybody still played with marbles in 2015.  Sunday night we will get to see the Fourty-Ninth Super Bowl in NFL history, and this is the First Order Historians Super Bowl XLIX Extravagantacular.

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F-U Conor Oberst

You have become steadily more irrelevant as the years pass and with your new “anti-Arizona” song, you have finally disappeared.  Joining with such idiots as Zack de la Rocha and Micheal Moore, Conor is making a stand against the Arizona law which requires law enforcement to uphold our nations laws be checking someones “legality” if they suspect they are not a legal citizen of this country.  What next Conor and Co., are you going to claim that the doorman who checks your ID at a club “to make sure you are of age” to be ageism profiling?  If not, then explain to me the difference.  Explain to me why you are against the government protecting our citizens.  You should be proud to show someone  your drivers license or passport because you are proud to be a United States Citizen…….but we all know that this is the crux of it….you aren’t, you are instead filled with guilt.  Guilt for things that you have not been part of, but somehow feel responsible for.  I am not calling for a boycott of your shitty music because we all have the freedom in the country as tax paying citizens, to make our own decisions.  I am also standing up in support of Arizona SB 1070.  Lets get back to worry about protecting ourselves and our interest and stop worrying about hurting peoples feelings.

Read the law for yourself – Link